NEW GIRL IN THE CITY

Like thousands of people before me, I moved to Calgary with two suitcases and a heart full of dreams and aspirations. The biggest one was to nurture my so-called ‘writing-talent’ and make a career out of it. When I joined SAIT, I felt like I’d moved one step closer towards the fulfillment of that dream.

Although, soon after that happened, I began to lose my writer’s voice.  When all you’re expected to do for every assignment, every story, is just ‘state the facts’ and never, ever mix in even the slightest amount of your opinions and feelings, your brain gets accustomed to that routine. So, even though I followed the rules, and ended up getting a good grade on almost every paper I submitted, everything I wrote seemed incomplete; like I just wasn’t doing enough justice to it; like there was something lacking in every piece I created. This is part of the reason behind why it cost me precisely two months and fourteen days, an entire notebook (with not a single blank or tidy page left in it) and a whole lot of sleepless nights to complete this article.

What could I possibly say about this city that hadn’t been said before? In just five months, I’ve begun to feel this strange love for Calgary, as if it were my own; as if I belonged to it from the very beginning. What has this city given me that made me love her so?

Was it my exciting, new, super-busy schedule? My newly found independence? Or was it just the fact that I woke up each morning with that beautiful new feeling of wanting to put in every ounce of effort within me towards building the future I had so assiduously planned for myself?

Then again, there were also a couple of things that could’ve very well made my love fly out the window. Maybe the biting cold weather that made me want to curl up into a tiny ball and hide away in some closet. Or, all that sinfully delicious food that tempted me every hour of every day, making me crave for maybe ‘just one bite’, and then painfully turning my head away because I know that I would never be able to afford all those calories… 

So, what stops me from turning around and walking back to where I came from? What lay at the core of all that love I felt for this city?

Actually, the answer had been in front of me all along. I just didn’t recognize it…

After about two weeks of beginning my classes at SAIT, I met two wonderful people. Classmates, friends, perhaps even best friends – it doesn’t matter. What matters is that they are the only ones I found myself opening up to, out of all the people I’d come across in Calgary. When I look back, I wonder if the joy of starting over in a new country would’ve been the same without their help. I look upon a long, tiring day made less monotonous by some ridiculously hilarious conversation, over the most silliest of topics ever known.

When I first came here, I had my goals straight. I knew what I had to accomplish, and I was willing to do anything and everything within my power to achieve them. But, now I know, that the joy of achieving these goals is meaningful only when shared with someone else.

Only now do I see that my strange admiration for this city is all due the admiration I have for these two crazy people. They‘re the ones who taught me to laugh in the face of adversity, and make each moment count.

Calgary is as tough as it is beautiful. Sometimes, while chasing after our goals we lose sight of the things that really matter – love, friendship, family. So close your eyes for a second, look for the special people in your life, and view this city through their eyes. You’ll find it a gazillion times more beautiful than you ever imagined. And who knows, someday, you might find two crazily incredible best friends, who don’t even have to make an effort to bring a smile to your face every day, but just do with their mere presence …… like me!

NOT GUILTY AS CHARGED

The dictionary defines the word “crime” as an act that is illegal or breaks a law and as a primary rule, ‘Every criminal must be punished’. But what happens if the so-called ‘criminal’ isn’t aware of what the law states, what if he’s too small to even pronounce the word, let alone know its meaning? This is what was going through my mind when I met Ben.

Ben is a six-year old boy I recently met at a remand home. This wasn’t the first time I’d visited the boys’ remand home. I grew up with the belief that  ‘service to man is service to God’, which is why every time I felt like I had a lot to be thankful for, I’d make it a point to voluntarily help-out with the service activities my father was involved in. These service activities usually included preparing food at home and taking it to feed the poor and helpless. I always looked forward to days like these, because they gave me a chance to serve the God residing in everybody. This day was no different – I looked forward to it too. Besides, I’d met these children before. They were all a bunch of boys ranging from ages nine to twelve, who’d committed an offense or crime and were now being housed by the remand home because they were too young to be sent to jail. Our job was to try and reform them by teaching them human values and all I was expected to do was talk to them and help with the teaching. Little did I know that one of these boys would end up teaching me a lesson, a lesson that I would never forget….

Their daily prayer had just begun when we arrived. So we stood there watching them pray while they recited their hymns in unison. I let my eyes drift across the room, trying to spot any changes since the last time we visited. There was Frank, the matron standing right in the front, keeping a close watch on all the boys. Somehow, he always reminded me of Professor Snape in Harry Potter – he was tall and thin, with this grave and suspicious expression plastered to his face – making you feel like there was something evil and villainous about him. The mere sight of him sent shivers down my spine, probably because I’d once seen him beat one of the boys with an iron rod just because he accidentally yawned while they were saying grace before a meal. This is just one of the examples of how brutally they treated the boys and I often wondered how they expected those children to reform their ways if they were going to be treated like street-rats. Why not just send them to jail then? They’d end up getting more or less the same treatment out there too, wouldn’t they? I felt my gaze automatically shift to the boys. There was Wilson – the eleven year old boy who tried to steal a great deal of money from the person he was working for ; then I saw Daniel – I don’t exactly remember what he did, but I do know that it too had something to do with stealing. I recognised a few others like Razaq, William and Syed, and that’s when my eyes fell upon this little boy. He was probably just about three and a half feet tall and he looked like he was about to burst into tears any minute.

Once the prayers got over, we were asked to serve the food we brought with us. One could tell that the boys were starving as they rushed into the dining room to get their food. I watched as each boy picked up a plate and went to stand in line, waiting to be served. However, the little boy was nowhere in sight. My eyes scanned the entire room, but they couldn’t find him. So, I decided to check the prayer room, in case he got left behind – and there he was, sitting in front of this big portrait of Jesus Christ.  Maybe he can’t eat by himself, I thought. So I went back to the dining room and filled up a plate for him. I was going to feed him. But as I moved closer, I realised that he was crying. I tried to talk to him. I asked him why he was crying. At first, he didn’t reply, he just kept crying. But eventually, as I somehow managed to assuage the crying, he began to talk. This is what he said –

“My mama and papa don’t love me. They left me here and went away. I want to go home to my mama and papa.”

I felt a lump in my throat. What could such a small child have possibly done to have been given such a punishment? I knew I had to find out. I tried my best to soothe the little boy, but since nothing worked, I decided to call somebody. So I called Emanuel, one of the staff members. Emanuel told me that the boys’ name was Ben and that he was six years old. He had been sent to the remand home ten days ago for accidentally killing his two-year old brother. Apparently, the two children had been left alone in a play-ground and while playing, Ben, unknowingly threw a huge stone at his younger brother. The stone hit the two-year old’s head and the child died on the spot. After this, he was sent to the remand home and ever since then, this boy has unfailingly been asking for his parents every day. He barely eats, barely sleeps – the only thing he seems to be doing in abundance is cry.

I felt the tears well up in my eyes as I listened. By the time Emanuel was done telling me this story, Ben was taken away. At that moment I didn’t know how to react, part of me couldn’t help thinking about the number of times I’d taken my family for granted. Here was a child who was never going to see his family again, and that too for a crime that involved no fault on his part. He was six years old for God’s sake, how was he supposed to know what he was doing? Isn’t that what his parents were there for? What parent in their right mind would think of leaving a six-year old child to watch over a two-year old one? And most importantly, how in the world is the law providing justice by punishing a child who wasn’t even aware of the fact that he was committing a crime? There are so many questions that remain unanswered when it comes to the law and its so-called ‘justice’ and I’m afraid that by the time they find an answer to all our questions, it might be too late. In the meantime, innocent children like Ben will have to suffer because of their parents’ foolishness and callousness of the law. Ben is going to suffer the agony of living without his family and the accusation of killing his baby brother.

So I ask you, does he deserve it ???

Destiny

She stood there in the hallway. Waiting for a sign, trying to think rationally and make some sense out of what she was about to do. NOTHING, nothing made any sense. 

“Oh for the love of peace, DON’T PANIC.” This was probably the hundredth time she tried to calm herself down. But no amount of reasoning or pacifying seemed to help. This was it. Her first and probably, last chance to set things right. She had to tell him; tell him that she loved him. She always did, from the very beginning…….

Shawn and Sherina had been best friends since they didn’t even know what the two words meant. Being the only offsprings of two extremely close families, it’s no surprise that they could barely live without each other. Their parents would often joke about how those two were ‘programmed’ to be companions. They were brought up together, faced every situation together, they were the closest of friends. So close, that even after her parents died in a plane crash, he made sure that she ended up living with him and his family instead of going ten thousand miles away to live with her aunt. Somehow, Shawn couldn’t bear the thought of living without his ‘best friend in the whole wide world’. So, he forced his parents to shoulder her responsibility. He knew that his parents were not that keen over the idea of two young adults living under the same roof; he knew about the rumours that began to spread around the neighbourhood; he knew everything…and he didn’t care, because he also knew what the truth was, that their friendship, no matter how close, was as pure as could be. Such was the strength of their friendship. Their college mates would frequently refer to them as ‘a couple’. And even though she’d pretend to laugh it off and deny it, in her heart of hearts, she saw him as much more than just a friend. He was her knight and shining armour and she hoped with every fibre of her being, that someday, he would tell her that he felt the same way. Until then, she would just have to keep mum. That was her plan……uptil last week. Uptil the time Shawn got an offer to his dream job, uptil the time he declared that he was leaving the country forever. And that’s when she realised that she had to reveal her feelings. She had no choice; he couldn’t leave her and go. Maybe he was hoping for her to make the first move, just like she was for all these years. Therefore, she decided to tell him and eventually, accompany him to wherever he was going. So, standing in the hallway, she took one last look at herself in the mirror and headed for the door.

He was about to check in when she reached the airport.

“Where in the world were you??” He asked, angry at her for not coming earlier.

“I’m sorry. I got hung up at work. There’s something I need to tell you.”

“Well you better hurry up, I need to leave soon.” He replied.

“I love you Shawn. I always have…and I can’t see you go away. I can’t live without you.”

He was flabbergasted. This is impossible, he thought, she can’t love me. He didn’t know what to say to her, he’d never looked at her that way. To him they were ‘just friends’ – best friends.

“So?? What d’ you think??” she asked.

He didn’t know what to think. Everything was happening too fast for him to comprehend his feelings for her. And then he realised that he had to check in. What do I tell her? He thought. Hurting her was probably the last thing he’d ever want to do.

“Sherry…I….I didn’t know you felt this way….” All things considered, he was surprised his tongue still worked. His mind had switched to automatic pilot, making him say things without even thinking twice, “I’m so sorry…”

She felt the colour rise up to her cheeks. She couldn’t believe what she just heard. He didn’t love her??? How could that be possible? They were always together; they even lived together for seven years. How could he not love her??

No, she thought, I’m not going to cry, not in front of him. So she stood there, faking half a smile, while he went on and on about how important their friendship was to him, and despite how horrible he might sound at the moment, he didn’t want to lose his best friend.

“I hope you’ll understand Sherry.” He said.

“I do. Don’t worry Shawn. I get it. You have a safe trip okay.” She replied while hugging him one last time.

He knew that she’d been shattered. He also knew that he was the reason behind it, but he didn’t know what else to do. Everything had happened so fast…perhaps if he’d known about this earlier, he might have just told her he loved her too, just to see her happy. It’s not like he was in love with someone else anyway. But it couldn’t be helped now. The damage was done.

“I think I should leave……..”, he said, “Goodbye Sherina.”

“Goodbye”, she whispered, lowering her gaze to the ground.

*FOUR HOURS LATER*

As he boarded his flight, he couldn’t help remembering all the times he’d spent with her. He closed his eyes, and thought about what she’d said. And for some strange reason, he felt himself smiling. He tried to force himself to feel remorseful over the fact that he’d hurt the only person he ever cared about; instead here he was, smiling his heart out. “She loves me,” he said to himself, “she said she loves me.” And just at that moment, her radiant face flashed before his eyes. He couldn’t imagine living without her either; she meant the world to him. What he couldn’t understand though was why he felt so happy over the fact that she loved him. They’d always been the best of friends, but he didn’t feel like ‘just a friend’ anymore. He felt more than that, he felt like he belonged to her.

“Oh my God, I love her too.” He never felt more insane in his entire life. How come I never realised this earlier, he thought, I love you Sherry..I’m just the world’s biggest idiot for not understanding my feelings for you until now.

“Sir, would you please fasten your seat belt, the flight’s about to take off.”, said the airhostess, pulling him away from his thoughts.

“Oh I’m not travelling with this plane…. I need to get outta here!!” And with these words, he quickly got his luggage down and began to run towards the exit.

Once he reached outside the airport, the first person he tried to call was undoubtedly, Sherina. He dialled her cell-phone number a couple of times, but no one picked up.

“Obviously, she must be so depressed after the way I treated her.” He thought.

So he tried the house number. This time, his father picked up.

“Hey dad is Sherry home? I need to talk to her.”

And what he heard next sent him gasping for air…………………………

“Sherina’s in the hospital. She’s paralysed !!!”

( to be continued…..)